My iPod is trying to kill me
The Euro 2008 tournament will go down in history as the first major football event to be decided by iPods. It was all so clear as the teams disembarked from their buses to enter the stadium for the final, tell-tale white leads dangling from their ears – the Germans looking grim and teutonic as Wagner pounded their brains, the Spaniards focused and centred as they drew inspiration from Nina Pastori, Lole y Manuel, etc. So Flamenco is superior to north European opera. We knew that.
But what’s going on with the shuffle function on the iPod? Why does my iPod go directly from “Everything is Wrong” by Lucinda Williams to Leonard Cohen singing about the rain falling down on last year’s man and then straight into Johnny Cash reporting that he hurt himself today just to see if he could feel.
Okay, it’s my own fault for putting those songs into iTunes. But I was brought up on records, cassette tapes, CDs. I had control. You played Johnny Cash, but then you put on Janis Joplin to lighten the mood a little. Spice it up with Talking Heads. The iPod doesn’t do that. It searches out all the most dire, depressing tracks and plays them one after another.
It wants me to kill myself.
It’s Hal from 2001 A Space Odyssey all over again.
The scary thing is, Apple is bringing out an iPot to finish off any survivors. It will decide what you eat.